Information to help to support someone with Dissoictive Identity Disorder.
First if you have not read "What is Dissoictive Identity Disorder" and " About Alters" it would help very much to read those pages to help you understand this part of the web site.
There are many variations in a systems as there are with dissociatives. Some alters you may recognize from talking with and reading, some may be completely foreign to you. You have to be adaptable and resourceful in dealing with alters. It is great help to be experience with children.
It maybe helpful to think of the others as parts of the host. Your other as their job to communicate with the alters and stay present, instead of letting the others take over when something becomes uncomfortable for them.
Try to deal with alters on their own level. Being that they may be children, so try to relate to them as such. Just like outside children set limits, don't yell or argue with a alter, but don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of.
Interacting with alters, just remember that an alter can be under 6 but they can be very advanced for being 6. The may know how the drive or took some school studies for you. Never underestimate a alter. Never lie to or break a promise to alters. You have to have trust and communication. Just remember that they were abused and lied to in the first place. You have to be someone that they can trust and building on that trust takes time.
If you wish to talk to a alter we, suggests that you only speak to the alter who is out at time. To speak to a different alter ask the alter that is out to send a message if they can.
When a alter comes out you will start notice subtle or you may not see subtle. Some clues are changes in appearance, write with the opposite hand, frown, have a different eye rate blink, appear younger or older. This can be a quite dramatic, or you could have a very hard time noticing the switches. Watch and you will be able to know who is out by voice or appearance. Just remember that they spent all their lives being yours so they're liable to want to NOT be noticed or identified.
DON'T bug, badger or prod an alter. If they want to talk or interact with you, they will. It is your job to build and create a trusting, loving atmosphere. The alters have been hurt and it's a very hard for the alters to trust anyone. Alters can become very good friends.
Each alter has a place in a host system, as well as a function. Some alters might handle school work, another may do a different subjects, one can be the best spouse, one may strive to please their abuser, a few can do sex and someone may come out when you are shopping.
Alters are not always aware of time and location. Some may be frozen in the time the abuse happened. You may try to help the alter be aware of the time, place, and year. That may help. If a alter is on a constantly lookout for abuser, you can make them aware that the abuser is not here or they maybe dead (remember DON'T LIE ) and remind them that they are in a safe place. It happened in the past but their pain is very real. Let them know it's not going the happen now.
It may be a good idea to alter proof your house, just like you would childproof a home. Remove all non-necessary medicine, throw away razor blades, and do what is necessary to keep the alters safe from themselves and each other. Be ready to hear all sort of interesting things out of the mouth of alters. You must remember that they grew up in their own world with radically different rules and beliefs from what we think are normal. They don't think like us.
Each alter was born for a purpose, and generally has a set way of thinking and doing things. So don't be too surprised is you are greeted with some outrageous statements, but try not to sound too surprised you don't to hurt anyone feeling.
Just remember that protector alters are born to protect. They are on alert, even when there is no need to been on alert. The reason for this is because the kids may be afraid.
Remember to communicate at the alters level with bounders. This will be difficult, but it can be done.
Links
DID, MPD, or Multiplicity: Responding to Parts Inside With a Focus on the Kids